Today, many people struggle with tension brought on by chaos and failure. Self-kindness which is an important aspect of self-compassion has been proven to restrict stress. All people, even ones who were mistreated and neglected in their childhood, are worthy of being treated with honesty, tenderness, and comfort. Overall, self-kindness means providing oneself patience, acceptance, caring and every mean of kindness, as well as generating feelings of care toward oneself.

According to psychologists, achieving self-kindness remains the key preparation for everything that life is about to offer us. “Practicing self-kindness can change our life massively”, says Juandri Buitendag, a counselling psychologist who created JB Wellness Dynamics, a London-based psychology therapy practice.

• Finding freedom in boundaries. Based on Buitendag’s study, there are many methods that can be accomplished to raise self-kindness in order to offer the ability to well manage stressful circumstances such as relationship crises or problems at work. By getting a break from job duties and laptop for a while, taking time off for ourselves allows us to stay focused and happier in whatever we accomplish.

Another way of self-compassion was suggested by this counselling psychologist. Keeping a gratitude journal in which, we note three things we are grateful for each day, staying in the “here and now” and observing the little things help us to develop a more positive and stress-friendly state of mind. Buitendag also recommends us to properly control and filter our social media feeds since, according to her, social media may make us feel worthless.

• Celebrating flaws. Based on Professor Margareta James’ research, founding director of the Harley Street Wellbeing Clinic, accepting who we are is the first step towards caring for ourselves. This process involves being brutally honest with ourselves and accepting in case we deceive ourselves about anything. Positivity, as she says, is not ignoring pain; it is through pain and suffering that we are able to change the future. That way, when things become tough, we can turn out to be kind to ourselves as a best friend and then be stress-free.
• Positive thinking. Professor James suggests that brief daily exercises such as reflecting positively on positive memories two minutes a day for 30 days can cultivate the art of self-care and enable the brain to become a background scanner for positive thoughts. From the brain's perspective, we need to establish habits so that we always unconsciously strive for the positive aspects.

As a result, we pay more attention to solutions when confronted with challenges. Although we face problems, we will gain the ability to view things more fairly and develop a way to solve them. The professor goes on to note that once we grasp this, we can bring about incredible change.

Pamela Wilson, the founder of BIG Brand System, says: “In all the greatest spiritual traditions, at their heart is tenderness, just to be kind inside, and then everything right itself. Fear rests. Confusion rests”

Sources: Psychology Today, Positive News