All parents have their own and unique way of raising their kids. They do their best, but nobody is perfect. That is why, when they look back, they all want to fix some of the mistakes they made in the past. Here, Sean Grover—a psychotherapist and the author of the book When Kids Call the Shots—highlights the common mistakes these parents probably did, to help you avoid making them again.

•    Micromanaging. Micromanager parents are those who are dedicated and hardworking. They do love their children and do strive for their children’s success, but they do too much for their kids. Consequently, their kids remain dependent on their parents.

•    Enabling. A parent’s actions are usually well-intended but enabling is one the most dangerous parenting habits. When parents always pander what their kids want, their kids fare poorly in relationships: they always expect everyone to cater them.

•    Bad modeling. Every parent is meant to be their children’s model. Parents who misbehave—erupt in rage, blame others, tell untruths, or play the victim—are subconsciously training their kids to do the same.

•    Bullying. Bullying parents tend to overwhelm their children with orders, directives, threats of violence, or even violence instead of understanding them. That does not mean they do not love their kids. Like other parents, they aim to shape their children as good persons, but they do it in a wrong way. Sadly, kids of bullying parents suffer from low-esteem and anxiety, and fear intimacy.

•    Inconsistency. Inconsistent parenting drives children crazy. Parents who are not stable in making serious decisions tend to produce emotionally volatile children. As a result, these children face struggles in defining themselves.

•    Criticism and comparison. Not everyone can stand being criticized and compared to someone else. Yet, many parents get used to refer to other children as good examples for theirs. That may represent a damage for children. Criticized and compared children grow up thinking of themselves as outsiders and underachievers.

•    Poor structure, limits, and boundaries. Appropriate parenting relates to providing well-balanced structure, limits, and boundaries. Structure means consistent schedules and routines. Limits stand for curbing risky behaviors by generating good judgment. Boundaries refer to honoring and respecting the physical and emotional space between people.

•    Neglect. Every parent has a lot of duties and commitments; and juggling all of them is no easy feat. However, children desperately need parents to be there for them. Some occasions that might not seem that important for an adult, really mean a lot for kids. Children need to have someone close to them at moments like these. Even if parents think they have a good reason to miss their children’ s school play, they should do their best to be present.

Striving to correct these wrong tendencies and to find the right balance for your kids will prepare them for relationships, jobs, and the world outside your door.

Source: Psychology Today